*My son-in-law won't read my blog. He says it is too long. Make it in two parts. Tried, it didn't work. Read it in two sittings!

The Angels Kiss Us While We Sleep…

At one time, my life consisted of diapers, bottles, suppers and laundry. My heart longed for the day that the ‘magic’ would start; I would be rich, famous, wonderful, and beautiful, probably in the same day! Watch out world! Now, as my hair has turned white instead of dark brown, and with that loads of wisdom rather than loads of laundry, life looks a little different. The magic has been there all along, sort of like Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz”, ‘everything I always wanted was right here, in my own backyard.’ There are millions of born again men, women and children out there in the world, living lives devoted to the Lord, having clean hands and a pure heart.

You know the ones.

Like, the heroic mother in the check out line who braves the grocery store with five little ones who are whining, wanting everything within reach and all she gets are stares. (This would be my girls! They both have four children. One of them noting she had a few spare moments a day now keeps foster children. The other one has twins who just tuned one and have started walking--in opposite directions!) (On one occasion, we were encouraged to leave the fitting rooms at our local department store because the fitting room attendant was fearful of so many children. We all felt out numbered) The eyes behind the stares asks the question, “Why do women have so many children if they can’t manage them better than that?”, not realizing this is the first time in over a week they have been out the house because everyone has been passing around the ‘throw ups’. Being frazzled, tired, and smelling of throw up, she braves the grocery store because Prince Charming will want dinner. She is paying the price for devotion to the Lord and to her family. Look around in the grocery store and tell a few of those moms what a great job they are doing. They probably won’t hear their children say it before they reach adulthood! Let them know they are a HERO. The sacrifice and the service they will provide for many years will go totally unnoticed by the ones who profit most from mom’s blood, sweat, and tears. However, there is a crowd of witnesses watching from above who never misses a tear she cries, a meal she prepares, a nose she wipes or any other of those so-called mundane tasks of life. They applaud her and the angels kiss her while she sleeps. She has an excellent spirit. She is great.

Do you really see the guy in your office or do you notice the guy who you call to fix everything that breaks in your apartment? You know the one, he does his job well, takes pride in his work and would not think of turning in anything other than his best. After putting in eight hours of work away from home, he pulls into the driveway dogged tired. He takes a deep breath, steps out of the car where the children all come running and screaming. (Mrs. Prince Charming is also part of this crowd) ”Play ball with me.” “Would you turn the jump rope for me Daddy, mom won’t play with me”. Mrs. Charming hollers over the crowd, “Prince, you would not believe how these children of yours acted in the grocery store today! The stares I got! You would not believe it! Next time, you can take this mob!” He wearily throws the ball, turns the jump rope, scolds the children for misbehaving, eats dinner, goes outside to mow the grass before dark, pulls the car in the garage so after grass cutting he can fix the ‘ping’, then falls into bed, mentally and physically exhausted. HERO! Through all the years of childrearing and marriage, he gets up every morning and goes to a job pays ok but it doesn’t fulfill him or touch his heart, because he loves his family. He lives devoted to his family and his Lord, with clean hands and a pure heart. Sometimes he works two jobs because of the growing needs of family. He works hard to keep a roof over everyone’s head, food in their stomachs and shoes on their feet. He feels there is no one who sees all he does nor do they appreciate the sacrifices he makes. However, there is a crowd of witnesses watching from above who never misses a thrown ball or turned rope, a mowed lawn, a fixed car, and sees him leaving for work before the sun rises in an effort to beat the traffic to work. They see all the other so-called mundane tasks of life and they applaud him. The angels kiss him while he sleeps. He has an excellent spirit. He is great man.

For all of us ‘unfamous’ people, when we think those hidden moments do not count, they do. There are those whose hearts desire is to see others succeed. Mothers want to see their children grow up to be president; fathers want their children to be bank presidents. They work hard, pay for piano (trumpet or flute) lessons, stay up late working on school projects, and usually make a good grade! (You know whom I am talking about!) One of my granddaughters wants to be a doctor when she grows up so she can take care of her Grand Me when she gets old. (Hurry!)

Then, there are the countless single moms who will do whatever they have too in order to keep their children fed. Recently I met a young woman who waited the table where I was involved in a business meeting. There was something about her. Nothing particularly note worthy. Tall, thin, busy, sad. Finally, I just stopped her and asked if I could pray for her, which surprised her (I think the surprise was that someone noticed her at all). A few weeks later upon returning to the restaurant, I had the great honor of meeting the hero of all heroes who stands as the epitome of those striving, hard working single parents that we pass every day but rarely notice. She lived in one town, drove to another town to leave her three children with her mom, and then drove to a different town to work. After work, she drove to another town where she attends night classes. Class being over around 10:30 pm, she drives over an hour, back to her mom’s to pick up her sleeping children, drives home only to get back up early in the morning to start the routine all over again. She wants a life for her children and is willing to do whatever she has too. She does not know the Lord but He knows her. He is wooing her to Himself. But in the meantime, there is a cloud of witness who sees the hours she spends a day in her car. I am sure someone in the crowd has dispatched some angelic helpers to make sure her worn out car makes it through the day. They are the ones who applaud her “A’s” because there isn’t anyone else. She comes and goes in silence and in the dark. But, she is always seen and is never alone. The angels kiss her while she sleeps. She has an excellent spirit. She is a great woman.

All of us as children have aspired to greatness. How many little girls have we seen using the hairbrush as a microphone? (One of my daughters was an aspiring evangelist at age three.) There is something in all of us that longs to be great. Although few will ever take hold of the elusive dream of fame, we all are called to greatness. Daily there is a great crowd of witnesses watching and applauding our movements calling out our names in the corridors of heaven. Our great exploits in this journey called life are the subject of heaven’s conversations. We are never alone. The angels kiss us while we sleep. We have an excellent spirit. We are great before our Father. We make Him smile.

Patti's Ponderings

And you thought you knew me soooo well!!! It is good to know what your calling is and another to walk in it.

Many stories, observations and impressions of late have revived memories from childhood. I had a best friend/neighbor who was Catholic. She had prayer books, prayer beads, special holy days and special holy people. I was Methodist. I wasn’t sure what we had. Anyway, seeing nuns and priests in the grocery store, I remember thinking about what holy people they must be once my mother explained who they were. They lived lives set apart for the work of God. They were devoted. Even the very clothes they wore set them apart from the rest of the world. Everyone knew who they were and what they were doing with their lives. I was very much in awe of their lives. As a Methodist, there didn’t seem to be much that set us apart. As a child, I was searching for answers that my immature mind didn’t have the vocabulary to ask, but they were there just the same. Surely, there must be something other than this. Now that I am an adult, the questions once on my mind were now on my heart.

As I grew up in the late 60’s and early 70’s, word got out regarding speaking in tongues. Wow! A God language, what is that all about? Being a rebellious teen, my mother was always threatening to take me to the local charismatic church where she knew the Holy Spirit was moving, hoping this ‘threat’ would some how change me. I will say, it may not have changed me but it certainly did scare me! The idea of the Holy Spirit moving and doing ‘things’ that could change peoples lives was a radical thought but just maybe; this was really, what I was looking for. Was this the answer to my heart? Reading in my Bible gave me some hope, but the thought was still this was reserved for those special, holy devoted, devout people, like nuns, not us rebellious teens who mothers threaten them, but secretly wanting deeply to be one of those so specially endued with His Spirit. My mother would not let me join the Catholic Church so what hope was there for me to ever be one of those ‘special people’ of God. Alas, I was doomed to be forever Methodist and I didn’t even know what that meant! (Oh by the way, I ended up in the Charismatic Church my mom threatened me with. He was there as she said)

Fast forward thirty plus years on this journey of life and one of my discoveries, what I thought I saw, as a child in the nuns and Catholic friends, which inspired an ongoing search, was life. Not just any kind of life but a spiritual life. That is what my heart had been longing for. A life devoted to being holy. A life lived in the Presence of God. A life He could live through today. A life that was real.

One summer, I spoke to a women’s retreat about a little known topic. During the preparation for that talk, the Lord gave a word to me which changed my paradigm about a life lived for God. The word was piety. He wanted me to live a life of piety. What!? As He began to change my mind, the change began to affect my heart and some understanding regarding piety began to emerge. In doing research for this retreat, it came to my attention, that in the modern church, we were taught being pious was bad or unnecessary. We now have a grace life, why piety? Growing up in church, there were plenty of examples of false piety but not many displaying the real thing. Being pious told others you were more spiritual and more holy than they were. You just sit with folded hands and pray if you were pious. (Is that sooo bad?) If we were all pious, who would do the work? True piety in someone made other people feel ‘bad’ and maybe look ‘bad’ in their relationship with their Savior. (Maybe it is really conviction.) The implications were “What we needed was less piety and more work for God.” We needed less piety and more money. We needed less piety and more services. All the stuff we ‘needed’ and the upkeep to manage it left me tired, empty, depressed and feeling not very pious, but very religious. That is why this word changed me. Piety is living your whole life to God. My whole life, what is that?

If we have been around church life very long, we have all heard teachings on body, soul, and spirit. What if piety is about living your whole life to God, which involves your whole body, whole mind and whole spirit? Doesn’t our Bible teach, “ Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' 38 This is the first and great commandment…” Matt 22:37-38 (NKJV). What would a life lived like that look in today’s society?


How have we, as a body of Believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, seen His first and greatest commandment lived out in this generation? My conviction is to see this love displayed in my life. It is easy sometimes to love Him with my mind but then, I seem to have to explain things about Him, which has no simple explanation. There are things about Him that frankly, offend my mind. I can’t explain how He did miracles. I can’t explain the resurrection. So for me, loving Him with my mind can be difficult or is it about focus?


In observations, I have also seen, loving Him from the heart has its issues too. Loving God with all your heart can foster memories of hurt and disappointment. “Where was God when my father came into my room every night”? How many people have we met who no longer attend church because God ‘let them down’ in some way. They loved, trusted and put their confidence in Him and He broke their hearts. Their child still took those drugs. Their marriage that needed saving, still ended in divorce. Their baby died before he/she had the chance to live. For many loving God meant putting those fragile issues of life in His hands, with all the hopes and dreams never realized, ending with the broken heart.


That leaves me with loving Him from my soul or from my spirit. There are many times when that doesn’t go so well either! I am not sure we have been taught through the years what that means in this postmodern, relevant, seeker-friendly, program driven church to love from our spirit man. Most of us have loved to receive love, not to love Him only because He is worthy. Are we finding we can love Him from our spirit? What would that look like? A pastor’s wife told me I was way too passionate about Jesus. She had not met anyone who not involved in full time ministry or a Pastor who loved Him with such passion or served Him with such devotion! Silly me, I thought we were supposed to love Him like that. Maybe I am a nun after all!

Several months ago, while visiting my local Christian bookstore, I happened on a book whose title was calling out my name! The premise of the book was examining the lives of those who had gone before us, exhibiting extraordinary lives of faith, healings, and some gave their lives in martyrdom. The word used over and again for these heroic persons of faith was “Mystic”. The word itself conjures images for me far different from who they may have really been. Having read some about the mystics over the past few years, their lives have challenged me, and scared me. After purchasing the book, calling my name and spending the next several days totally engrossed in the text, feelings came over me that were difficult to explain. Reading it bothered me to a level to which my heart had not been bothered in quite some time. It offended me. It provoked me, but at the same time, tears would stream down my face as I read of their strength and courage. The lives of these “Saints” touched something deep in my heart. Maybe it was their voices (along with the Spirit of the Living God) calling out that day which urged me to move past what my mind can reason out to find what my spirit can experience!

8 But immediately, when Jesus perceived in His spirit that they reasoned thus within themselves, He said to them, "Why do you reason about these things in your hearts? 9 Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven you,' or to say, 'Arise, take up your bed and walk'? 10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins"--He said to the paralytic, 11 I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house." 12 Immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went out in the presence of them all, so that all were amazed and glorified God, saying, "We never saw anything like this!" Mark 2:8-12 (NKJV)

After much reading and researching over the past ten plus years, I discovered Mystics had gotten a bad rap through the centuries and especially from the organized church. Often, we see them portrayed as spooky and weird and often by modern standards, they were! In today’s society there seemed too close of association with Eastern stuff so, many of us have kept our distance out of the fear of being deceived. In the 70’s, there was constant warning about the deception of anything ‘mystical’, (because of the association of mysticism of the New Age movement), the warning being duly noted and followed, I fled! However, our God is mystical. His ways transcends all human understanding to inspire us with a sense of spiritual mystery, awe, and fascination. Look at Jesus and who He is. God in the flesh! Wow! And that isn’t mystical? In other words, His ways are far beyond ours, for which I am very grateful! That is a great idea but what if we really believed it. In church a few Sundays ago, we were singing about how great our God is. My heart said, “To bad so few really believes that”. "Behold, God is great, and we do not know Him; Nor can the number of His years be discovered. Job 36:26 (NKJV)

As an observer and participator of church life, the over past forty years it seems His mysteries, along with His awe ‘inspiringness’, gave way to programs and endless revival meetings where few are revived! In the search something real and alive, John of the Cross entered my life. What a discovery. The Holy Spirit impacted my spirit man in a new way while reading about the life of John and seeing the depth of his relationship with Jesus Christ. All of the information gathered in my life about God, suddenly became an encounter with Him. In reading about John of the Cross, the door opened to read about others. They tasted in life what my heart was crying out to taste in my own. The only problem was the mystic thing that came along with them. In the pursuit for a real and natural spiritual life, fear of deception gave way to deep longing and there I met some incredible people who lived extraordinary lives. They were regular people, living regular lives that had touched Jesus, like the woman with the issue of blood, and could not go back to the emptiness they once felt. They were different. They did not seem to want to be famous or written about; they just wanted to live in the reality of the life of Jesus Christ. Have we learned anything from those who have gone before us and paved the way for us to go deeper or higher? Are we beating the same dead horse or have we made the decision to go up? HUM, Maybe I am a mystic too!

The question left unanswered is how can we live a real life in Christ, not just a life in church or at home or work, but a life lived in Him, all day, and everyday? It seemed to have been possible back in the olden days, what about now. The old dudes did not even have computers or CCEL! I do not have any answers yet but He has given us clues that reveal some of His mysteries. I am on a quest…following the clues. I will let you know what I find. Stay tuned.

Later

A New Day

This is a first. After enjoying the blogs of others, my daughter convinced me it was time to become a BLOGGER myself. Being one who has prided herself never to be left behind, here I am. Hopefully, the 'ponderings' of my drive to work every morning will be insightful or at least amusing.

Many thanks to my son in law for the blog name and to my daughter for laughing. He knows how I hate being called Patti,(not that I don't love others named Patti) so the name of this blog is rather cynical. Thanks for your encouragement!

We will see how this goes.

Later